double life

Over the last few years I have been increasingly aware that true healing mostly takes place through the sharing of weakness. Mostly we are so afraid of our weaknesses that we hide them at all cost and thus make them unavailable to others but also often to ourselves. And, in this way, we end up living double lives even against our own desires: one life in which we present ourselves to the world, to ourselves and to God as a person who is in control and another life in which we feel insecure, doubtful, confused and anxious and totally out of control. The split between these two lives causes us a lot of suffering. I have become growingly aware of the importance to overcome the great chasm between these two lives and to become more and more aware that facing, with others, the reality of our existence can be the beginning of a truly free life.

Often I became aware of the fact that in the sharing of my weaknesses with others, the real depths of my human brokenness and weakness and sinfulness started to reveal itself to me, not as a source of despair but as a source of hope. As long as I try to convince myself or others of my independence a lot of my energy is invested building up my own false self. But once I am able to truly confess my most profound dependence on others and on God, I can come in touch with my true self and a real community can develop