why is is difficult

Why is it so difficult to be still and quiet and let God speak to me about the meaning of my life. Is it because I don’t trust God? Is it because I don’t know God? Is it because I wonder if God really is there for me? Is it because I am afraid of God? Is it because everything else is more real for me than God? Is it because, deep down, I do not believe that God cares what happens at the corner of Yonge and Bloor?

Is it because I don't love God enough? I only love Him limitedly. I want my space, my time. It just shows I ultimately don't love him enough. I love him, but not enough. Just like Peter loved him, philia, not agape. 

But Lord, I do desire to love you. My flesh is indeed weak O lord. Help my lack. Because I know, you love me. And will come down to me. Always. 



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