friendship

Too often we think or say: “I don’t want to bother my friends with my problems. They have enough problems themselves.” But the truth is that we honor our friends by entrusting our struggles to them. Don’t we ourselves say to our friends who have hidden their feelings of fear and shame from us: “Why didn’t you tell me, why did you keep it secret so long?” Obviously, not everyone can receive our hidden pains. But I believe that if we truly desire to grow in spiritual maturity, God will send us the friends we need.

So much of our suffering arises not just out of our painful condition, but from our feeling of isolation in the midst of our pain. Many people who suffer immensely from addiction—be it addiction to alcohol, drugs, sex, or food—find their first real relief when they can share their pain with others and discover that they are truly heard. The many twelve-step programs are a powerful witness to the truth that sharing our pain is the beginning of healing. Here we can see how close sorrow and joy can be. When I discover that I am no longer alone in my struggle and when I start experiencing a new “fellowship in weakness,” then true joy can erupt, right in the middle of my sorrow.