aggression

Male aggression is perceived to be negative, but it has a positive origin. Its derivative, In Latin, ad gregior, which means to confront, to go towards. Hence aggression, when it is well integrated, is the ability to activate him towards the world, towards life. 

In sexuality, male aggression is important because during sexual intercourse itself involves the male penetrating into the female, in a virgin woman. And this penetration is a symbolically aggressive act as the male must break the hymen of the woman. Therefore male who has not integrated well with aggression and is afraid of it for some reason may find himself experiencing great difficulty towards his first sexual relation. Because he perceives them to be an intrusive and dangerous act.

An integrated aggression is able to balance eros, desire and tenderness. For some man, tenderness makes them uncomfortable as it is related to the mothers world, and man who has not sufficient closeness from a mother, will subconsciously struggle to piece tenderness and sexuality together. 

There are some man trapped in the tender side, struggling to penetrate, only wiling to do the pre-genital.

And woman will struggle to rely on the man to feel and experience pleasure.

Male have an external genitalia unlike a woman which is internal. As such, man psyche is in the vulnerability to being exposed. His sexuality is in the external. Hence the need for aggression to protect the vulnerability. Vs woman sexuality on the internal and depth of the body and it takes time to understand. 

A female, because it's internal, not seen, lives as someone who lacks something, rather than someone who possesses something. As such, it is a progressive discovery and not an easy one. 

For male, he need to see in order to be aroused. For female, she need to have a narrative  and depth to be aroused. She  need to be seen , desired , appreciated and love